


50 shades of gay

by The_Royal_Gourd



Series: The Adventures of the Bosom Buddies [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, The sex, badly written sex scenes, like wow, non-descriptive descriptors, not graphic sex, or graphic in the wrong ways maybe?, pretty gratuitous sex, things as lube that should not be lube, this whole things a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:10:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Royal_Gourd/pseuds/The_Royal_Gourd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt, Joseph, and Kyle have always been super breast friends but now they may even perhaps be something a little more than friends? Or in fact so much more it may give you whiplash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only the beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My not as gay as advertised brother](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+not+as+gay+as+advertised+brother).



> so first chapter is super short and will only ever get re-written if someone actually saw it and was like "hey y'all should re-write this." So this is kind of a labour of love based so very loosely of my brother and his friends. Based so loosely in fact that really the only thing that remains the same is their appearances and some basic facts here and there. Names are changed to protect their identities and due to this being something of a parody I'm not sure their true personalities will ever really come out but we'll see what happens ;) So enjoy

Matt looked into Josephs eyes longingly. Joseph was respective of Matts poop time but was waiting impatiently to be back in his warm embrace. Matt walked through the door and wonked seductively at Joseph, he blushed and batted his long lush eyelashes. Joseph started makin with Matt and they got all hot and bothered. Then Joseph stuck his raspberry red lips on Matts junk and hovered it like a sexy vacuume cleaner. Before Matt could come to the orgy he so wanted Joseph stopped his ministronies and made out with Matt hard. Joseph looked @ Matt and toldhim Matt made his kokoro go doki, doki, and he wanted his warm hot heat inside him. Matt replied by smirking at his cute little bishi Joseph & said “ bite the pillow, I’m going in dry”! Matt then thrusted into Josephs tight rump and started spearing Joseph quickly with his baby maker. Joseph cried out in ecstasy as he came closer to climax, arching his spine at, at least a 90 degree angle Joseph spurted his seed on his stomach. Matt came slowly after since Josephs buttle muscles were tight like a tigers. Matt panted coming down from his super boner cum bomb and cuddled his dear Joseph & said “Oh Joseph, My love bursts out of me in waves”! Joseph looked up at Matt endearingly “Oh bby, You know that I luv you”. Then Matt & Joseph made out passionately and lived happily and gaily ever after.


	2. still pretty much getting started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and then things get even saucier ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so saucy just you wait for it

Kyle sauntered sexfully sliding slowly through the door. Upon seeing Matthew and joseph lounging on the sofa revelling in their post-orgasm bliss, Kyle felt jealousy well up in his soft pink heart. He wanted what Joseph and Matthew currently had, Kyle just wanted to love and be loved. He glowered at the obvious love lasers Matt and Joseph were shooting out of their eyes, until that is, those beautiful beams were shot Kyle’s way. His aforementioned soft pink heart beat heavily in Kyle’s chest, making him gasp with the total enveloping need to have an epic, little bit more than bromance with both Matthew AND Joseph! Kyle quickly turned away contemplating his want of a polyamorous relationship.  
Staring at Kyle Matthew opened his pouty velvet lips to speak, only to be interrupted by Joseph. “Kahl don’t you want to join our love snuggle?”  
Kyle blinked in surprise shifting slightly in discomfort. “But-I-I-thought you and Matthew were love snuggling exclusive…”  
Joseph smiled invitingly at Kyle opening his arms before nudging Matt and getting him to do the same. “Don’t you worry your pretty little behind, (and was it ever pretty) this love snuggle is all inclusive, unlike the shitty resort trips they give away on the radio.”  
Kyle smiled before plopping his plump little rump on the sofa between his two favorite bros. Joseph burrowed into Kyle’s side as Matthew grabbed some Xbox controllers and popped in Left 4 Dead 2. He offered a controller to Kyle, but he declined claiming “Left 4 Dead is far too mainstream for me, you and Joseph should play.”  
Joseph stuck his cute little tongue out declaring Kyle to be a hipster douche. Kyle just smiled knowingly as he drank his shitty hipster beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon.  
Matthew and Joseph turned to the game, they picked their characters (Ellis & Nick bc they’re tots boyfriends!) and started kicking zombie booty.  
Kyle just smirked smarmily at his two bosom buddies and waited patiently to be able to play Rockband where he would, of course, plug in his acoustic guitar to make the experience more authentic. Kyle’s plan was derailed however when Matthew flipped his beautifully coiffed hair and licked his plump lips lustily. Kyle’s soft pink love muscle became a little less soft at the sight; not helping was Joseph who stretched languidly revealing a small patch of abdomen and the cutest curliest little happy trail.  
Kyle swallowed audibly enacting manoeuver #7, the awkward boner shift to hide his growing man meat.  
As Kyle fidgeted awkwardly trying to relieve some of his discomfort, Joseph and Matt winked at each other fully aware of the compromising situation they had put their broski in. Joseph stuck his ample booty in the air crawling sexfully towards Kyle like a ferocious but still very hot Asian sex panther. Kyle growled as dat tight ass swayed ever closer, meanwhile Matthew had attached himself to Kyle’s manly bicep and was sucking at his earlobe like they were lollipops.  
Kyle and Joseph got friskier so Kyle grabbed the last of his Pabst Blue Ribbon and started stretching Joseph’s tender tight tush so he could fit his massive hard pink love stick into his cute little Josephs tiny rump ring. As this was going down Matt had his wiggly warm taste stump thrusting in and out of Kyle’s booty so that they could make a long love train that would have Matt in Kyle, and Kyle in Joseph in a beautiful merging of souls, a soul train as it were.  
Kyle slotted himself into Josephs butt like a puzzle piece slotting into a jigsaw, then Matthew sunk balls deep into Kyle like the last Tetris piece sinks perfectly into place destroying the row of blocks.  
Looking like a much more romantic and poetic version of the human centipede, Matt thrust into Kyle causing Kyle to thrust into Joseph. After a bit of awkward Newton’s Cradle our love bunnies finally set up a good thrashing rhythm.  
After a bunch of hot necking everyone came one after the other like a sexual game of orgasm dominoes. The all flopped to the couch watching through sleepy eyes as the menus scene played on the long forgotten video game.  
Kyle curled into Joseph and Matt hoping he finally found the place, and the people he belonged with. Matthew lovingly kissed Kyle’s and Joseph’s heads as he softly closed his eyelids and was coaxed into sleep by the doki doki of his lovers hearts. Joseph smiled softly at his boys as he too joined Matthew in the land of dreams and love. Finally Kyle our last love muffin gazed at his two soul mates, (for what else could they be?) and slipped into rest with the two of them.


End file.
